You are not alone on that
Well Hanni,
You are not alone on struggling with close relationships, they are hard even for the most well adjusted people in the world. It is not uncommon to be pissed off at someone, frustrated, be bitchy to etc. When you get close to someone you see them at their worst and sometimes their best. It is during those "worst" times we need to focus on the good of that person to get us thru the hump. Being close with someone means a lot (and I mean a LOT ) of compromise even when you dont' want to.
Off to bed, it's 12:30 a.m. - we just finished watching "Prince Caspian," I have been waiting for it to come out on DVD.
Take care my girl.
posted by Coach at
12:28 AM
1 Comments:
This is how it goes with me...
I tell myself i don't want them, don't need people close but really i want it like so badly, just something normal like people have. But i can't risk loosing them or f***ing things up so badly that i loose them, so.... i tell myself i don't want it or need it. When i do.
Then........ if i do start to get close to someone, i end up being mean to them, not because i don't love them but so that they will go away, because i will only loose them in the end so what's the friken point.
I'm trying to just make some lasting friends in church and work, something simple not some huge romance... i wasn't that attached to andros, he was a good bloke and i know i would have been happy because he didn't tug at my heart so i felt safe with that, like when it all went tits up i wouldn't care so much. But with friends too, i open up a little and then a few weeks later end up blowing them off because i can't deal with them walking around knowing i care....so i make them believe i don't by being mean and it's like a friken train, it shoots out of my mouth and i keep going even though i know i'm hurting them.
But inside i'm relieved and less stressed.
Three years down the line and i havent got very far eh
Hanni
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