cynical
As I am more involved in the "Christian culture" I am becoming more appalled at the that culture. There are so many hypocritical rules that apply and everyone accepts or just doesn't talk about it but silently give approval.
I have been a Christian for 20+ years and thought I would be safe in this community but it is the one that turns on you the quickest, that leaves you abondonded. There is such a front people put on, like a plastic Barbie and Ken, look beautiful, with a plastic smile that all is well in their world. Sadly I have seen youth pastors that lie when they are confronted, Pastors in counselling sessions go over the line with their clients.
Jesus came to the broken. The Apostles were all men who were struggling, for the lack of a better word. They clung to Jesus. Do we cling to Jesus or do we just talk? Am I clinging to Jesus? Am I doing what He wants? I no longer have a desire to go to Church, to sit in that seat and occupy it. Am I living a life that is real?
I would love to be that perfect Chrisitan person, showing everyone that my life is amazing, that I walk with my head held high, that I got it all together. I don't have it together. Everyday is a struggle. My vocabulary has something to be desired, but yet I would never admit that to another Christian, the condemnation that would come, like wow!
I see those I have known for 20 + years as Christians and they walk like they got it all, but I know the secrets, the things they don't know about that is happening within their own family,that they amphetically deny these things are happening, justify it away. I hate it! I so want to tell them, but anger will arise, denial will be like venum. I will be called various names, claim I am the one who is causing the issues. ah, Christians, where did we go wrong?
Is the Church today making Jesus proud? Would He come to church?
Chrisitans have their own personal agenda, guise it in "God told me, the Holy Spirit told me..." yada, yada, yada. And so we believe because they are better Christians than I will ever be.
I never questioned the Church before, never questioned a Pastors motive, it's time I do.
I want to be authentic, but I don't know exactly what that is.
This is my 3:49 am rant.
I can't sleep. Got Curtis on my brain and his family.
Curtis is a young guy I know through is Aunt, met Curtis when he was like 4 or something. He died in a car accident Aug. 7th. His car he was a passenger in a car that was hit in the back by a Ford Cargo Van and he was sitting in the back seat along with another boy. Both boys died. One in the Air Ambulance enroute to the hospital, one at the scene. The car rolled when it was hit so that tells me that Van was moving at a good clip. Curtis was one of those good kids, he was burdened with looking after his Oma, you could count on him no matter what. He was stolen from this world. I hate sin in this world but it is the thing I do best...
posted by Coach at
3:28 AM
2 Comments:
It would do us good to question. Search your heart and ask yourself "what would Jesus do". That phrase too has lost its meaning for somehow many christians dont have a clue or would deny what Jesus would do because it hurts the "club" mentality.
Christians have all the "pat" answers to all the complicated questions kinda like a wrote and ritual response with a fancy smile to top it off. The real heart of God is found in the hurting. The Psalms were not all about plastic happiness. They were people crying out at the injustice and pain of this world.Read it and weep...they did and so does Christ.
There once was this long haired smelly guy crying on the steps of one of our beautifal, fancy ass churches. He wept until Jesus came and asked Him what was wrong. He said that he tried to go to the church but he was not welcome. Jesus said...thats OK...neither am I. He took this mans hand and off they went.
I am continually surprised at where I find Him and on reflection, I realize that many times I am miles from a church.
I met a man who's mom was just saved by Christ. She never put a foot in the church. She found Christ through servanthood in the soup kitchens. No fancy talk or scripted responses....just love and compassion.....and Christ.
My neighbour found Christ. I went to visit him to invite him to church. His response??? What..and ruin the faith I have just found? I dont fit in a church cause I'm not perfect. I said, but my church is not like that! He said...they all are Don. He read me his most beautiful prayer that he wrote on the inside of his Bible. Here is a man who has been saved by the grace of God and the love of Christ and he didnt learn it from the church. He drives truck now and shares with hitchikers along his journey....now thats church.
I remember one time being kestigated for not coming to a "witnessing to non christians" seminar. I never bothered to tell them that the reason I didnt go was because I got a distress call from a crack addict that I had met. Now lets see.....go to church and talk about it....or go to the world and do it?
blessings and peace to you Michele.
People are just people M inside an outside of the church. It's not that you got more cynical it's just that the deeper you go with God the more you see it and the divide between faith an works is obvious. It takes faith and works and if people haven't got works then they're dead. I don't mean good deeds either i mean works like putting your faith into practice even when it hurt you, even when it humbles you.
Be cheery that u notice the diffrence babe, between you an them. Imagine if you didn't eh?? It aint nothing to get proud about either but i think you don't, i think it makes you sad.
Save that for the people without God at all not for the ones who know better.
H
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